You may think that is one of those weird caterpillars that has been sighted in Virginia. It is not. That is what happened when I tried to wash my hair without pulling a bunch out first. It balled up like that and I had to cut it out. Now I have Christopher Walken hair. I have a fringe that can still stick out under hats, though. That's how things are going. Ha!
I am much better on my in-between week from chemo. I can get out for walks- a mountain trail yesterday and back up to a mile today. I can accomplish some things, whether laundry, or sewing, or writing, or whatever. I even ate a lot yesterday! I had an appointment with my therapist about some of the ways that I anticipate issues to minimize my racing thoughts. She was a huge help with suggestions and reframing.
I have been writing Marvel Cinematic Universe fan fiction. It is fun and provides a nice distraction for me to keep me from ruminating on things I can't control. But I controlled too much. Since it is set in a fictional world, I write within that world. And I knew that what I was writing didn't necessarily line up with my Biblical convictions. I justified this by telling myself that it fit within the world I've been writing about. I'm still reading through my Armor of God study that I did, and apparently, this isn't a new struggle for me. I came across a chapter on obedience where I talked about wanting to write things from a worldly perspective, rather than a Biblical perspective, more than a year ago. God has actually been merciful. He could have made me rewrite the whole story, because a good deal of it is based on a worldly idea. He's allowing me to revise from what hasn't been posted to the internet, yet. And I can still write about the MCU, but add in some ideas that can be interpreted as "moral" as opposed to strictly "Christian." I asked God why He even let me write so much I'd have to revise before typing (actually, just cutting out a few things, and one major revision that I can redo in a day, most likely), and the thought that came to me was simply, "You knew." And there it was, in my study book, in paper and ink- I did know. In fact, there was even more. Here is another thing I wrote in my book: "Bring the trivial (it's just fan fiction) to God- it shows I haven't dismissed His power to work in places I can't see." Wow. I did dismiss Him. I forgot the lesson. He's still working on me.
I am much better on my in-between week from chemo. I can get out for walks- a mountain trail yesterday and back up to a mile today. I can accomplish some things, whether laundry, or sewing, or writing, or whatever. I even ate a lot yesterday! I had an appointment with my therapist about some of the ways that I anticipate issues to minimize my racing thoughts. She was a huge help with suggestions and reframing.
I have been writing Marvel Cinematic Universe fan fiction. It is fun and provides a nice distraction for me to keep me from ruminating on things I can't control. But I controlled too much. Since it is set in a fictional world, I write within that world. And I knew that what I was writing didn't necessarily line up with my Biblical convictions. I justified this by telling myself that it fit within the world I've been writing about. I'm still reading through my Armor of God study that I did, and apparently, this isn't a new struggle for me. I came across a chapter on obedience where I talked about wanting to write things from a worldly perspective, rather than a Biblical perspective, more than a year ago. God has actually been merciful. He could have made me rewrite the whole story, because a good deal of it is based on a worldly idea. He's allowing me to revise from what hasn't been posted to the internet, yet. And I can still write about the MCU, but add in some ideas that can be interpreted as "moral" as opposed to strictly "Christian." I asked God why He even let me write so much I'd have to revise before typing (actually, just cutting out a few things, and one major revision that I can redo in a day, most likely), and the thought that came to me was simply, "You knew." And there it was, in my study book, in paper and ink- I did know. In fact, there was even more. Here is another thing I wrote in my book: "Bring the trivial (it's just fan fiction) to God- it shows I haven't dismissed His power to work in places I can't see." Wow. I did dismiss Him. I forgot the lesson. He's still working on me.