Had my infusion yesterday with the new cocktail of drugs. Didn't feel great last night, but feel better than usual today. I've been able to go for walks both days and I've done chores and worked today, which is an improvement. After Jan, 5, I'll have my CT scan.
I need to give out some thank-yous. Thanks to Beth Rippey and Renee Groh Weaver for your donations to the Hogwarts Gofundme campaign! I recognize your names as being relatives of friends of mine, but I have no contact for you, so I hope that you see this blog! Also, to the person who donated $300 anonymously, many thanks! Finally, to the person who left the beautiful Christmas fairy garden on my front stoop, thank you! These gifts are so appreciated!! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
I have shared about the work that God is doing with me, hammering home the theme of forgiveness and making peace. It happened again. My dear friend from my youth, Steve Keaton, lost his father to Covid 19. In his post, he shared a small bit about how he didn't have his father around growing up, but that in the last 10 years or so, he'd developed such a great relationship with him. How his father had shown up for his whole family. This is right on the heels of Sunday's message about forgiveness vs. reconciliation. I must forgive because God forgave me, first. It is for me and not dependent on the other person. Reconciliation happens with the other person. It doesn't always take the form of bringing a relationship back to the way it was, but in moving it forward. Steve's few sentences brought to life how God can change hearts and lives in forgiveness and reconciliation. I've never done the "word for the year" that a lot of my friends do. I've felt constrained by it, like I was putting God in a box. I know this is my hangup, that it is a helpful lens for others. But I believe God just gave me a word, not for one year, but two. I started in February with the realization that I wasn't communicating well with my daughter. I looked for information on how to do so better. Our relationship has improved a lot, at least from my perspective because I can explain better what I mean so that she understands why I say, do , or ask things of her, or even why I have a certain opinion about things we discuss. Perfect now? Ha! No, but better. Then, in June or July, I admitted to some feelings I hadn't shared with my husband. Jim took those words to heart and our relationship improved, too. My diagnosis came soon after. He has been wonderfully supportive, providing support in ways that I wasn't sure he'd be able to. Both of them have been good listeners and give me space for my constantly changing emotions. God has been transforming all of us. But I think there is still more to come. I know so many of you have prayed for healing for me. I have felt God telling me that He is bringing me healing. But I now believe that this healing, though it can have physical implications, is healing of relationships. I don't know what that means, or what it will look like. It may be someone against whom I've held a grudge that I didn't even realize I was carrying. It may be with someone whom I have wronged and need to see their perspective to ask for forgiveness. Whatever form it takes, I am being prepared. And whenever the time comes for me to be fully reconciled to my Holy Father for eternity, whether in 1 year, 5, or more, I will have been transformed by His healing, forgiveness, and love. This is why God sent his son, Yeshua, to reconcile us to Himself, in his great love. Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, love divine. Love was born at Christmas, stars and angels gave the sign.(Christina Rossetti) MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I need to give out some thank-yous. Thanks to Beth Rippey and Renee Groh Weaver for your donations to the Hogwarts Gofundme campaign! I recognize your names as being relatives of friends of mine, but I have no contact for you, so I hope that you see this blog! Also, to the person who donated $300 anonymously, many thanks! Finally, to the person who left the beautiful Christmas fairy garden on my front stoop, thank you! These gifts are so appreciated!! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
I have shared about the work that God is doing with me, hammering home the theme of forgiveness and making peace. It happened again. My dear friend from my youth, Steve Keaton, lost his father to Covid 19. In his post, he shared a small bit about how he didn't have his father around growing up, but that in the last 10 years or so, he'd developed such a great relationship with him. How his father had shown up for his whole family. This is right on the heels of Sunday's message about forgiveness vs. reconciliation. I must forgive because God forgave me, first. It is for me and not dependent on the other person. Reconciliation happens with the other person. It doesn't always take the form of bringing a relationship back to the way it was, but in moving it forward. Steve's few sentences brought to life how God can change hearts and lives in forgiveness and reconciliation. I've never done the "word for the year" that a lot of my friends do. I've felt constrained by it, like I was putting God in a box. I know this is my hangup, that it is a helpful lens for others. But I believe God just gave me a word, not for one year, but two. I started in February with the realization that I wasn't communicating well with my daughter. I looked for information on how to do so better. Our relationship has improved a lot, at least from my perspective because I can explain better what I mean so that she understands why I say, do , or ask things of her, or even why I have a certain opinion about things we discuss. Perfect now? Ha! No, but better. Then, in June or July, I admitted to some feelings I hadn't shared with my husband. Jim took those words to heart and our relationship improved, too. My diagnosis came soon after. He has been wonderfully supportive, providing support in ways that I wasn't sure he'd be able to. Both of them have been good listeners and give me space for my constantly changing emotions. God has been transforming all of us. But I think there is still more to come. I know so many of you have prayed for healing for me. I have felt God telling me that He is bringing me healing. But I now believe that this healing, though it can have physical implications, is healing of relationships. I don't know what that means, or what it will look like. It may be someone against whom I've held a grudge that I didn't even realize I was carrying. It may be with someone whom I have wronged and need to see their perspective to ask for forgiveness. Whatever form it takes, I am being prepared. And whenever the time comes for me to be fully reconciled to my Holy Father for eternity, whether in 1 year, 5, or more, I will have been transformed by His healing, forgiveness, and love. This is why God sent his son, Yeshua, to reconcile us to Himself, in his great love. Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, love divine. Love was born at Christmas, stars and angels gave the sign.(Christina Rossetti) MERRY CHRISTMAS!